How to Write a Eulogy in Five Simple Steps


Losing a loved one is an emotional journey, and the task of commemorating their life can feel overwhelming. A eulogy serves as a tribute, encapsulating the essence of the departed in heartfelt words. In this comprehensive guide on how to write a eulogy, we aim to provide you with simple, actionable steps to create a meaningful homage to your loved one.

Table of Contents

  • Introduction
  • Step 1: Understand Your Audience
  • Step 2: Gather Memories and Anecdotes
  • Step 3: Organise Your Thoughts
  • Step 4: Writing the Eulogy
  • Step 5: Review and Revise
  • Conclusion

Step 1: Understand Your Audience

When crafting a eulogy, the first step is to consider your audience. You’re not just speaking about the deceased; you’re speaking to the living family, friends, colleagues, and sometimes, even a broader community. Knowing your audience can significantly impact the tone, content, and delivery of your eulogy.

Why It Matters

Understanding who will be present allows you to focus on memories, anecdotes, and characteristics that resonate most with the audience. Will the eulogy be given at a religious ceremony or a more informal gathering? The context can help guide your words and the emotional undertone you aim to achieve.

  1. Consult Close Family Members: Talk to the immediate family to gauge what aspects of the departed’s life they consider most important.
  2. Expand the Consultation: After speaking with family, consider consulting work colleagues if the deceased was particularly dedicated to their career, or sporting colleagues if they were active in that arena. Different circles can offer unique insights into the departed’s identity.
  3. Know the Setting: Different settings call for different tones. A eulogy at a religious ceremony may require a more reverential tone, while an informal gathering might allow for lighter anecdotes.
  4. Consider Cultural Sensitivities: Each culture has its own norms and traditions surrounding death. Be mindful to respect these when writing your eulogy.

Step 2: Gather Memories and Anecdotes

A eulogy comes alive through stories, personal experiences, and anecdotes that capture the essence of your loved one. Here, we’ll guide you through the process of gathering these invaluable pieces to enrich your eulogy.

Why It Matters

Including memories and anecdotes lends depth and dimension to your tribute. It allows you to paint a vivid picture of the departed, making your eulogy more relatable and impactful to those in attendance.

  1. Jot Down Initial Thoughts: Start by writing down any memories that come to mind. Don’t censor yourself at this stage; the goal is to get as many ideas down as possible.
  2. Use Prompts: If you’re finding it hard to recall specific memories, use prompts like “I’ll always remember when…”, or “One quality I admired was…” to kickstart your thoughts.
  3. Collect Stories from Others: After speaking with family, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, colleagues, or community members for their stories or impressions. Multiple perspectives enrich the eulogy.
  4. Categorise the Memories: As you gather anecdotes, try to categorise them into themes like “Love,” “Kindness,” or “Humour,” to help you organise the eulogy later.

Step 3: Organise Your Thoughts

With a plethora of memories and anecdotes at your disposal, the next step is to organise them into a coherent structure. This ensures your eulogy flows smoothly, making it easier for your audience to follow along and stay engaged.

Why It Matters

A well-organised eulogy not only helps you deliver it more effectively but also helps your audience absorb and reflect on what you’re saying. The goal is to make your tribute to your loved one as impactful as possible.

  1. Identify the Core Message: Decide on the key message or theme you want your eulogy to convey. Is it about the departed’s kindness, achievements, or unconditional love?
  2. Create an Outline: Use the themes or categories you’ve developed to form an outline. This will serve as the backbone of your eulogy.
  3. Arrange Anecdotes Logically: Place your anecdotes in a logical order, whether it’s chronologically, thematically, or some combination of both.
  4. Include Transitions: Make sure to include transitional phrases or sentences between different sections or anecdotes to ensure the eulogy flows naturally.

Step 4: Writing the Eulogy

You’ve gathered your thoughts, organised them, and now it’s time to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. This section will guide you through the nuances of writing a touching eulogy that does justice to your loved one’s memory.

Why It Matters

The writing process is where all your preparation comes to fruition. Crafting the words carefully ensures that you convey your message effectively, offering a heartfelt tribute to the departed.

  1. Choose Your Tone: Stick with a semi-formal tone, being respectful yet personable. It’s important to be genuine; let your own voice shine through.
  2. Be Mindful of Length: While being concise can be beneficial, especially if you anticipate being emotional, a more seasoned public speaker might opt to include longer anecdotes for greater impact.
  3. Incorporate Quotes or Verses: If there’s a particular quote, poem, or religious verse that encapsulates the essence of your loved one, feel free to include it.
  4. Read Aloud: Once you’ve written a draft, read it aloud to yourself or a close family member. This will give you a sense of the flow and any areas that might need adjustment.

Step 5: Rehearse and Revise

You’ve done the hard work of gathering memories, organising your thoughts, and putting them into words. Now it’s time to prepare for the actual delivery of the eulogy. Don’t underestimate the power of rehearsal and timely revisions.

Why It Matters

Rehearsing ensures that you are comfortable with what you’re going to say, while revisions help you fine-tune the eulogy for maximum impact.

  1. Rehearse Multiple Times: The more familiar you are with the text, the more comfortably you’ll be able to deliver it, especially in a highly emotional setting.
  2. Seek Feedback: Share your draft with a trusted family member or friend for constructive feedback. They may catch errors you’ve overlooked or offer valuable suggestions for improvement.
  3. Revise Accordingly: Use the feedback to make necessary revisions, whether they’re minor tweaks for clarity or significant changes to better reflect the departed’s life.
  4. Time It: Try to stay within an appropriate time frame for your setting. Running through the eulogy with a timer can help you gauge this.


Writing a eulogy is undoubtedly a challenging task, but it’s also a unique opportunity to pay homage to a cherished life. By following the steps laid out in this guide from gathering memories to diligent rehearsal you’ll craft a heartfelt, meaningful tribute that resonates with your audience and honours your loved one.


We hope this guide has been helpful to you in this emotional journey. If you found value in our tips and advice, please consider sharing this article with others who may also be facing the difficult task of writing a eulogy. Your share could make all the difference.

Additional Resources

For added support during this emotionally taxing journey, we have some additional resources to guide you further:

  • Eulogy Notes Template: This template will aid you in gathering memories, stories, and details that you may wish to include in your eulogy.
  • Draft Eulogy Outline: A structured outline to guide you in presenting your eulogy, especially helpful for those unsure about how to organise their thoughts effectively.

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